I’ve always tried to do my very best at what I set out to do, the problem is, I often struggle finding the correct balance. My tendency is to go a 100 mph, deplete myself and then come to a complete screeching halt. I am able to get quite a bit done in a short period of time but then lose momentum trying to recover from exhaustion. It’s all about balance, I need to live with a 100% all in attitude without trying to give everything and everyone 100% of me a 100% of the time. Learning to choose who and what to invest our time and effort in is an important part of life. It all comes down to balancing priorities if I truly want to be at my best, doing my best work and living a joyful and fruitful life.
This past summer I worked really hard to complete my first children’s book, my last post We Wrote a Book has more about that. While completing the book, there were still farm chores to do: feeding, cleaning, birthing, milking, etc. I also spent quite a bit of energy finding new ways to develop our farm and trying to discover how to be self -sufficient in the future: farm to table dinners, growing a pumpkin patch, and creating new products to sell. In addition to these responsibilities, I have a part-time graphic design job and a multitude of family and friend relationships to care for as well. It is physically and mentally exhausting, honestly there are times I am completely overwhelmed. Sometimes, I feel like one of those circus performers who spins plates on sticks with a tremendous pressure to keep them all from crashing to the floor.
Staying focused is especially challenging when I allow myself to compare my life, priorities or achievements with someone else’s. Social media can inspire but it can also derail us by offering an edited snippet of another’s life or accomplishment. We don’t see the whole picture, all the hard work, struggles, frustrations or loss behind a pretty photo or a well-worded comment, just say’n. I know that I am not alone in this struggle, I hear and see so many others burdened by an abundance of “things to do”. Constant busyness seems to be a rampant social disease that is robbing so many from living a fulfilling life.
For me, farm life helps to bring my important priorities back into focus. It requires me to slow down and be more thoughtful, which allows me time to appreciate what is truly important. Knowing what is of real value and eliminating the extraneous labor that sneaks into my daily life is the key. I do realize that as I continue to seek the right working balance I will be cleaning up some broken plates that fall to the ground. Going forward I think I am ok with that. Who knows, I might even piece together the broken shards to create a mosaic of sorts.
In October of this year I will be turning 50, I will also be a grandmother for the first time. These two significant events have been the motivation I needed to push forward and accomplish a goal that I have had for quite a long time. I have long wanted to write and publish a book of my own. Last week, I finally uploaded my first book to be published and I am waiting to receive the final proof in the mail. It is quite a rewarding feeling, to finally bring to fruition, something that was in my heart and mind for years.
When my now grown and married children were young, we made to choice to homeschool. It was not a new concept when we first started but it wasn’t as prevalent as it is now. There were many reasons we had for making the decision to begin the journey, but one of the main reasons we continued was the ability to focus on developing strong and meaningful character in their lives. Knowledge is important but it is character that transforms what is learned into wisdom. I think we have a culture of many individuals that possess a large amount of knowledge but lack wisdom. I suppose I could continue on with an opinion on that topic but I would rather focus on what I can do about it.
The desire to see my children grow in character and become kind, grateful, thoughtful and wise individuals directed me to find and choose literature that would demonstrate these type of qualities in a style they could identify with. We made weekly trips to the public library in search of books that were age appropriate and interest based with the purpose of re-enforcing positive character traits in their daily lives. The afternoons curled up on the couch reading Huckleberry Finn and so many other great stories with my children are some of my most cherished memories.
As I quickly approach the day that I will be holding the next generation of our family in my arms I feel even more compelled to continue fostering a desire for positive character development in our children. Living on our farm has been the fulfillment of my childhood dream, and it has afforded me an opportunity to use my passions to finally write the book I would have loved as a child and one I will enjoy reading to my grandchildren. I have taken my love for the farm lifestyle and a heart to impart wisdom and placed it within the personalities of our lovable and relatable farm animals. As much as I am excited and nervous about sharing my book to the public, I hope it will encourage others to step out and pursue their own dreams.
One thing I have learned is: becoming a success should never be the goal, but imparting your passion to strengthen and inspire the next generation should be.
Buttercup has to hurry up wherever she goes;
she misses the flowers right under her nose.
I was recently asked a question regarding what kind of legacy I was leaving to the next generation. This simple inquiry of life’s purpose forced my mind into a hyperactive state of self-examination and evaluation, which honestly overwhelmed me. I can’t remember a time in my life I wasn’t pursuing a way to accomplish some type of great achievement. I know now this compelling drive was fueled by a desire to feel valuable, which meant most of my life was engaged in an exhausting race to attain self-worth.
Moving to our little farmhouse has allowed me the opportunity to step out of the always discouraging pattern of striving to achieve “Something Great” in order to feel worthwhile. My pace of life is slower on the farm and I am able to see the beauty around me much more clearly. There are new discoveries daily which inspire a natural passion and creativity to flow from a place of authenticity. The quest for self-worth has been replaced with a journey of joy in expressing the awesome wonder that surrounds me.
I now have the time to write and illustrate my children’s books; I am able to pour myself out; and into a worthwhile expression of my heart. I enjoy being creative but I have been so often discouraged by feelings of inadequacy in the past. My current motivation is different than before I had my farm, I actively choose to participate in what is truly valuable instead of pursuing the feeling of importance. I once chased after ideas trying to grasp at doing “Something Great”; I am now choosing to live “Something Great” and just BE……………. Be grateful, be joyful, be loving and kind. I want to notice the flowers in front of me and magnify the wonder in that simple moment. It may seem a small thing but if it is my legacy to pass on, I will be greatly satisfied .