Tag: perseverance

A Change of Face

The Smith Farmhouse Experiment

meB&Wsmblog

I tried to write in February, I really did. I sat down multiple times trying to express my thoughts but I just could not get any words out. It isn’t because there was nothing to say, on the contrary there were so many things happening, that honestly, it overwhelmed me.

It was the first time I sincerely felt like giving up, putting down the pitchfork and packing it all up.

This farm life isn’t always joyful, there are times it can be pretty tough. The reality can be sickness, death and lonliness. February was all those rolled together and a bit more. We lost a duck, (one of my favorites) to a bald eagle attack and two more got sick and died.  We also got, for us, a lot of snow. We are used to lots of rain and an occasional inch or two of snow, but this was 8 inches that made everything harder including the  loneliness. When you begin your life on a farm you plan for many things, but the isolation you may encounter can be an unfriendly surprise.

I mean, it’s hard enough to leave when everything is going well but, it is just about impossible when you are managing your animals in the snow and the eagles are looming about like a huge dark cloud hanging over your dream wanting to devour it. I don’t like to admit I am feeling down or in any way negative about life in general, so it’s extremely hard for me to share this in such a public way. My heart wants to look for the best and encourage others to find their joy in the simple things we all can be grateful for. Even though it is difficult, I know it’s important to be authentic and honest as I communicate my experiences. Painting a picture of a perfect and easy life is not only deceptive, it can be discouraging to those who are comparing their own situation and struggling to attain such an impossible likeness.

So, I am determined to take off this February face and shed the gloomy melancholy that has permeated my attitude and emotions for the past few weeks. I realize there is so much to look forward to: spring and sunshine, baby goats, fresh garden vegetables, the list goes on and on. I am going to focus on the good things and not the bad (like having to wrangle two naughty and stinky male goats that just broke out of their pen and are attempting to join the lady goats). If you are wondering… yes, that just happened.

It’s may be a challenge but here’s hoping to a much improved March face.

Sticking To It

The Smith Farmhouse Experiment

It is always easy for me to get something started, it’s the follow through that often trips me up. My mind is usually racing through a multitude of projects, ideas and daily to do’s so, I can get easily distracted or worse, bored. I do persevere in my commitments to others, as in my marriage or promises I make to other people but for some reason I have struggled with sticking to my personal goals. I am learning to pace my stride better so I don’t burn out due to getting overwhelmed. What I have learned from my past failures: expecting too much progress in the beginning can result in discouragement or burnout.

After we moved into our home last year the first fruit tree we planted was a Granny Smith Apple tree to celebrate our 30th year anniversary. A year later we had a harvest of one apple, only one. If I had expected a much larger bounty or a full size tree to hang a tire swing in I would have been gravely dissapointed or possibly angry. Thankfully I had a practical idea of the outcome this little tree would produce. I have to remind myself of this fact as I am at the starting line of this new endeavor of blogging. Initially I imagined I would write on here everyday about my daily project on Instagram,”the Smith Farmhouse Experiment” in which I highlight something new on our farm, but I quickly realized I would be making a huge mistake . I fear my writing would be hurried and lacking real thoughtfulness or I would have to ignore some important priorities on the farm if I forced myself to such a quick pace.

My goal is to take the time to recognize the new and beautiful things happening all around me, to learn from them and allow these blessings to help me grow in godly character. I have a deep desire to encourage others and to share my personal experiences to give God glory for all that He has accomplished in my life. I know this is a  a task which will require patience on my part because it requires me to change my mindset from sprinting to taking a slow contemplative stroll. I am so thankful to be at this place in life where I can see the beauty of the moment where once I would have rushed past and missed it. I will choose to persevere in writing and honor a commitment I made to myself so I can learn to enjoy my life to the fullest.  I am sticking to it, my mind is set and I am prepared to endure until the end, with joy.